Op-Ed on Prop 8 and the Black Community

I read this today by Jasmyne A. Cannick.  It provides insight into why blacks did not oppose Proposition 8, and it exposes the disconnect between the black community and the white GLBT community.  My initial reaction was, “white liberals fail to get the race thing (again).”  Maybe later I’ll have a more refined opinion.

Obama, Wright, and the double standard

Boston Globe columnist Scott Lehigh has a good column today that exposes the double standard with politicians and clergy.

My new haircut

A while back I was musing on “the Asian hair thing,” which, apparently gets this blog a lot of hits from search engines.  Strange, but true.

Anyway, last week I bit the bullet and ventured into Chinatown to get a haircut.

First thing I noticed, the extra cost was worth it – I got a free juice drink, a nice shampoo and head massage, and, as a very nice added bonus, they rinsed my hair after the first cut – no more itty bitty hair bits annoying the daylights out of me until my next shower.

As for the haircut itself… I think there was a slight communication problem, but I think it was more me not really knowing what I wanted to do, so I was babbling.  I was trying to explain I had wavy hair and what I did the last time.  I think that made it confusing for the hairdresser.  I should have just said that I have wavy hair, I would like a bob, and it’s OK to let the natural waviness show.  But I didn’t.  Instead she just did a bob, expressed surprise I had wavy hair (she didn’t see me before the shampoo), and blew me out.  Along the way she explained that I didn’t need conditioner.  Not sure how that will work once the hair gets longer, but OK… I’ll give it a try.

It was interesting watching her work.  They really do cut Asian hair differently.  For starters, she didn’t use scissors to do most of the cutting.  Instead, she used this razor thing like a knife to cut the hair.  And she may have sectioned the hair differently… That I couldn’t tell.  She didn’t use scissors until the end, when she was thinning out my hair, and no one has ever thinned out my hair before.  Finally, she was very thorough in blowing out my hair.  Instead of just taking the round brush and hairdryer and blowing, she put sections of my hair up again like she did when she cut it.  Then, she used the brush and dryer to straighten out the underlying layers.  As she finished each layer, she let down more hair.  So by the time she was done, my hair was pretty straight with it curving under at the ends.

I can’t say I was thrilled with it… Nor can I say I didn’t like it.  I just wasn’t used to it.  I think because she used a different technique my hair was laying differently, and I just wasn’t used to it.  For me, the jury was out.  But, I bumped into a friend on my way out, and he liked it.  Or, at least, he said he did… He’s a straight guy, so he might have just been saying that to be polite.  But, the female co-workers the next day really liked it, so I guess it went well   And, now that it’s been several days since the cut, my hair is acting more like its old self, and I’m getting used to it.  I think it’s working out well.

It will be interesting to see how my hair acts as it grows out… If the waves come back, and how.  I think I will go back to the same place in two months or so.  I want to keep my hair on the shorter side for winter.  And, maybe if I’m brave enough, I’ll have the hairdresser do what she thinks would look best on my head.  But that could be a big maybe….

And, yes, I feel a little guilty for not going to my usual hairdresser.

(P.S.  The hairdresser asked if I was Chinese, which is usual.  I look Chinese.  She was shocked when I told her I’m Korean.  She also asked if it was my first time at the salon.  I said it was, and then I volunteered that it was my first time going to an Asian place.  I debated whether or not to tell her I was adopted.  I didn’t.. Don’t know why.  There wasn’t any particular reason.  I guess I just didn’t feel the need to.  And I think if I had, it would have been out of some urge to get pity or something….)

AFAAD – Adopted & Fostered Adults of the African Diaspora

John Raible has a post about a new group forming, AFAAD, Adopted & Fostered Adults of the African Diaspora.  The group is for adult adoptees or foster care alums who identify as being of African descent.

Coming out… !

A Birth Project has a clip that all transracial adoptees might like, and their a-parents should check it out, too.

Because my “To Read” list isn’t long enough

Multiracial Sky has a post with an interesting list of books about racism and privilege:

A People’s History of the United States: 1492-Present, by Howard Zinn (I’d actually heard of this one, and I think I saw him speak at a graduation ceremony.  I didn’t realize the significance of this book in detailing the Missing In History facts we never learned in school.)

Everyday Acts Against Racism: Raising Children in a Multiracial World, edited by Maureen T. Reddy

Some of My Best Friends: Writings on Interracial Friendships, edited by Emily Bernard

Yet another set of books I need to take a gander at.  Like I need more books to read…  At least I’ve curtailed buying books and check them out at the library first.

Will the people with the clipboards please go away?

As I avoided the Save The Children people with clipboards who were trying to engage Boston commuters, tourists, and other assorted pedestrians in some meaningful conversation leading up to a donation or something, I wondered:

Would it be a form of internalized racism if I pretended I didn’t speak English to avoid talking to these people?

Interesting facts day

Here are two blog posts with interesting facts.

The fun post is from Laurie Kendrick: Worthless crap you learn while unemployed

The not-so-fun-and-really-quite-depressing-but-important post is from  Kadnexus: Tests showing how racism affects your body

That Asian hair thing

Does having an Asian hairdresser cut your Asian hair really make a difference?

Several years ago I found out that some Korean adoptees went to Korean hairdressers because we have hair that’s different from white people.  I thought, “Bullshit.”  Seriously, I thought it was some lameass way for KADs to make themselves feel special.  However, I began noticing that some did have coarser, wiry hair.  So I thought, “OK, maybe there is such a thing as Asian hair, but my hair’s not like that.”

Then, last week I had lunch with the Asian co-workers.  For some reason, hair cuts came up.  Both of the co-workers went to a salon in Chinatown because of the “Asian hair thing.”  Yet, neither of them has what I would think was wiry, coarse, hard to manage hair.  But, since I was with two “real” Asians as opposed to the adopted “fake” Asians, I asked if it really did make a difference getting your hair cut by an Asian hairdresser.

Both of them said it did matter.  Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough time to get more details on this.  But, the end result was that I spent the rest of the day paranoid that I had an inadequate haircut, and had been getting inadequate haircuts for 36 years.  I was back in junior high mode, fretting about my hair and whether I was a mega-dork.

I also started to wonder if I should try a haircut at this salon.  The problem, though, is that it’s more expensive than Supercuts   And, I’d feel guilty.  I’ve been going to the same woman for nearly 10 years.  I’d feel like I was betraying her by trying someone new.  Silly, I know, especially since I get my hair cut twice a year.  But us women develop a loyalty to our hairdressers, and I just wouldn’t feel right.

“Passion versus Mission”

This post from Korean Adoptee Bride caught my eye. It challenges assumptions those of is in white, middle-class, privileged America have, and gives some insight to the challenges immigrants face in this country. Seriously – would you be able to teach yourself English after working 80 hours a week and raising a family? I work 40-45 and I can’t manage to teach myself Perl, which is written in English (sorta).

Something to think about as the immigration debate rages on.