Useless Thoughts Running Through My Head

various musings of a generation x kad

We have a sprinkler

Posted by thoughtful1 on September 11, 2007

There is something quite troubling occurring in Corporate America, or at least my little area of it.

We have a sprinkler.  Or, more accurately, we have a sprayer.

Someone on my floor at the office has been sprinkling on the seats.  Usually it’s a few definitely yellow drops on the seat.  But, every now and then, I walk into a stall and it looks like a fucking she-rhino sprayed the back wall to mark it as hers.

Seriously.

Big, yellow drops of urine all on the BACK of the toilet seat.  The back?  It’s as if some guy walked in there and decided to hose down the place.  But this happens in the middle of the day.  During office hours.  When someone would notice David, Mark, or Paul walking out of the Ladies.

It wouldn’t be a male-to-female transgendered person because, well, a male-to-female transgendered person would act female and SIT DOWN, not stand.

But, honestly, how the hell does a human female spray the back of the toilet set with her urine?  How? Does she have some screwed up sense of space that she thinks squatting near the back of the seat will improve her aim?  Uh, no, sweetie – you squat over the middle.  Place your pee hole over the wide part of the bowl….

And, if, by some misfortune this woman suffers some sort of anatomical disorder that she cannot urinate accurately into the bowl and ends up messing up the seat, then please, for love of decency’s sake, clean up after yourself!

Advertisements

One Response to “We have a sprinkler”

  1. The “pisslets” you’re seeing on the seat of the potties is endemic of the dreaded “hoverer”. Tell-tale sign indeed.

    She hovers a few inches–maybe even an entire foot above the bowl and voids her bladder.

    The problem is that unless she pulls up her dress or skirt up to her neck or her pants down to the floor, her view of the urinary flow is obstructed. This becomes a blind piss if you will. Very often this results in a sprinkled seat. Sometimes floor..sometimes the back of her dress, skirt or pants.

    She won’t sit because her Depression Era born mother scared the shit out of her by telling her that microbes and bacteria and God knows what other microscopic vermin live on that toilet seat and are dying…JUST DYING to burrow into her vagina to make her barren or at the very least, render not feeling very fresh.

    I mean I wouldn’t know…I’m just guessing. you understand.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: