Useless Thoughts Running Through My Head

various musings of a generation x kad

Archive for the ‘transracial adoption’ Category

AFAAD – Adopted & Fostered Adults of the African Diaspora

Posted by thoughtful1 on July 31, 2007

John Raible has a post about a new group forming, AFAAD, Adopted & Fostered Adults of the African Diaspora.  The group is for adult adoptees or foster care alums who identify as being of African descent.


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Coming out… !

Posted by thoughtful1 on July 24, 2007

A Birth Project has a clip that all transracial adoptees might like, and their a-parents should check it out, too.

Posted in adoption, international adoption, korean adoptees, korean adoption, race, transracial adoption | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Sometimes it’s hard to enjoy a silly Korean soap

Posted by thoughtful1 on June 28, 2007

Last night I started watching an episode of My Lovely Samsoon.  It’s a Korean soap opera about an average looking 30 year-old who gets dumped on Christmas Eve.  She then proceeds to try to rebuild her love life while her younger, prettier, thinner sister gives her constructive criticism (because younger, prettier, thinner sisters can be annoying like that).  I had enjoyed the previous night’s episode and had begun to consider DVR-ing it.  But last night I stopped watching after 15 minutes.


Because it was showing me what I had lost when I was adopted.  When I went to Korea in 2004 I had a fun time, don’t get me wrong.  But when the plane was flying in to Incheon, I started tearing up.  I kept thinking, “This [Seoul/Korea] was supposed to be mine.  It was supposed to be my home.”  And, it is not.  Yes, I consider the US home.  But having a home doesn’t replace or make up for the one I lost.  Visiting Korea and seeing my native city just turned an abstraction into a reality.  I began to realize what I had lost.  And seeing a contemporary Korean soap opera began to depress me.  I don’t know why it happened last night – I’ve watched another contemporary Korean soap.  Maybe because the characters are in their 30’s instead of their 20’s, so I could identify with them more?  I don’t know.  I just started to feel sad.

Posted in adoption, korean adoptees, korean adoption, transracial adoption, TV | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

American a-dad helps unwed Korean mothers

Posted by thoughtful1 on June 17, 2007

I found this article on the Harlow’s Monkey blog.

I’m happy that Dr. Boas realized what giving up their children meant for the Korean mothers.  So many others don’t… And even though I know most people don’t bother to ask the questions Dr. Boas did, it still bugs me that none of the other a-parents in his group questioned the practice of Korean mothers sending their children overseas.

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Food for thought (Pun not intended.)

Posted by thoughtful1 on June 8, 2007

Read Harlow’s Monkey BiBimBap essay.

She describes the contradictions we face in our lives.  And, like me, she is angry at Korea for sending away so many of its children.

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The Chinese adoptees are growing up… and getting organized!

Posted by thoughtful1 on May 29, 2007

Very cool – adult Chinese adoptees are beginning to organize and have formed their own group, Chinese Adoptee Links International.  The website is .  Click here to read an aritcle about the group.

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Let’s talk about the non-adopted POC for a moment

Posted by thoughtful1 on May 4, 2007

Or, maybe the title should be “Let’s talk with the non-adopted POC for a moment.”

Here’s why:

I recently became acquainted with a UU group for People of Color. It is the only POC group I have ever been apart of, not including KAD (Korean adoptee) groups. I think sharing the same religion is what makes it easier for me to be part of this group. There’s something other than our non-whiteness holding us together. I find joining groups based solely on race makes me feel even more self-conscious and awkward about my identity. At least with UUs of Color there’s other stuff to talk about. And, many of them are also American, which also makes it easier for me to feel comfortable. They’re Westernized, like me!

However, I’ve been thinking that even though they are welcoming to adoptees, there is more they could learn. And I think they need to know more if they want transracial adoptees to feel comfortable approaching their birth communities. I think it would be helpful for them to know about things like loss, identity, and that our insecurity around our racial and ethnic identity may not be the same as theirs. I think many of the non-adopted POC think they have the same issues we have. While I cannot know exactly how another person is feeling, I suspect that it’s not quite the same. For starters, after spending the day in school with white kids I went home to… white people! I didn’t have Korean relatives who looked like me, or could tell me about Korea or Korean culture. Nothing. Inside, I am WASPy girl. Hell, some of my white friends have said I am whiter than they are. (I find this funny, not offensive, btw. They’re very good friends, and it’s kinda true…)

And, for loss, I think it’s important for that to be addressed. I’ve heard of things said to other adoptees that may (or may not) have triggered pain surrounding separation from the birth family. These things were said in jest, and said in friendship. I just think that the people saying them may not have realized the potential impact those words could have had on someone who’s adopted. I attended some sessions at UU General Assembly on transracial adoption. Mostly people talked about racism. The discussion touched on loss, but no one named it! No one said the word, “loss.” I found it surreal. After years in the KAD community listening to people talk about loss as well as race, I found it bizarre that in a discussion about transracial adoption no one was talking about loss. A few people did express feelings related to loss, but no one explicitly addressed. And I think some of the adoptees in the session needed to talk about it, or have it named for them to help them identify some of things they were feeling.

I think it’s necessary to bring this up with UUs of Color because our denomination has quite a few transracial adoptees, and I know from my own experience how hard it can be to join a group of Koreans/Asians. To make it easier for transracial adoptees approaching their birth communities, we need our various groups of UUs of Color to know about adoption issues, and how to be more welcoming to them and more sensitive to adoptees’ needs.

So, if you’re a transracial adoptee, or depending on your politics, a transracially adopted person, what would you want non-adopted people of your race/ethnicity to know about you and your adoption experience? What would help them help you feel welcome and comfortable among them? What have any of them done that’s been hurtful? (I know plenty of KADs have stories of what Koreans have done wrong!!)

What say you all?

Posted in korean adoptees, transracial adoption, unitarian, unitarian universalism, universalist | 1 Comment »

For all you Black/African transracial adoptees out there

Posted by thoughtful1 on April 23, 2007

I stumbled across this blog by Lisa Marie, a transracial adoptee of African descent. So, if you are a transracial adoptee of African/black descent, all or part, and you’ve been feeling left out of the transracial adoptee group hug us KADs get to have, then you might be interested in the Yahoo Group trarepresent – Black/African Transracial Adoptees.

Info on joining is near the bottom of the page. You can either just send a subscribe request to the Subscribe Address (duh) or login with a Yahoo ID and join that way. (As a veteran member of several Yahoo Groups, I recommend using a Yahoo ID. It makes managing your group membership much easier.)

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A white American raised by Asians

Posted by thoughtful1 on April 18, 2007

I thought the transracial adoptees out there would find this article interesting, especially the Asian adoptees. Daja Wangchuk Meston is the son of an American couple, but at the age of 6 his mother left him in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery where he lived until he was 16.

I think some of us can identify with some of the things he went through.

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